Infinity-Nothing-randomly cohesive

• Experience of Connection with text vs. Analytic Critique of formal prose

-unity and self disintegration

"why" finds no answer, lack of justifiers

 - Nietzsche 

Will to Power- notes: 

4.Advantage of Christian 

-moral hypothesis-grants man an absolute value as opposed to transient, meaningless existence.

-morality as antidote against practical theoretical nihilism.

-truthfulness cultivated by nihilism 

6."Insofar as we believe in morality we pass sentence on existence"

-universe as transitional stage

-pessimism as analytic 

-value judgements are ways of turning one's back on the will of existence

11. problem-what is morality

-nihilism as state of mind, product of searching for meaning and not finding it, aims at nothing and finds nothing.

+ (faith in meaning although at times it appears meaningless, process of becoming as meaning)+

unity-form of monism, infinitely valuable whole

12. passing sentence on this whole world of becoming as deception invent a world beyond, a true world, disbelief in any metaphysical world.

+(aim of science, unified theory of being?)+

13. Categories of reason. Man's hyperbolic naivety -positing himself as the meaning and measure of the value of things.

+(a Christian would not posit himself as such, but rather posit the Messiah, God's grace, as the measure and meaning of things)+

13.hypothesis of nihilism- there is no truth, there is no absolute nature of thing nor a "thing it itself" 

+(art history talk, desire in contemporary art for not the thing that points but, a "thing in itself, side thought)+

-lack of any reality, not true world no truth

15. belief, "every belief is a considering something true."  Nietzsche is posing that we are desiring that we need a narrower abbreviated simplified world..

+(We can believe in a truthful world, w/o empirical knowledge of such, faith)+

+(Current state of things seems to be that through the plenitude of ideals presented to man, in our modern age, the individual is left to wrestle with his subjectivity, and can pick and choose, with help of his imagination which ideals are most suited to aim his life towards-this may or may not be an illusion.

I believe there is a truth and this truth of an infinite nature is surely incomprehensible to me, in my finite faculties. I trust that aiming, through self reflection, analytic fist and foremost of my subjective accepted realities, striving for truth, accepting that i may never get there, but, in the words of David Dunlap, I am "trusting in a far shore". This is not a disregard of other for we must face the reality of the "other" and come to terms with our juxtaposition to others. I must come to terms with my current state of finiteness and feel I can come to know quite thoroughly the totality of the "other"-which may or may not be true. With my subjective stance regarding this one could never really assert to fully know the other. But certainly can more clearly know the totality of a finite being compared to that of an infinite being. I accept that my finite faculties, can not have complete access to thee knowledge of the infinite. However I can trust and believe that in it's existence, and striving forward can have hopes in this realm but a hope in the understanding of knowledge of and infinite unity would require part of me to be of infinite nature.)+

+(In regards to ideals, I have seen beauty)+

+(death, suffering- unideal / (objective) nature/life- ideal)+

+(a true reality, a thing in itself, a thing that doesn't point to something else. Nature, life IS. God say's I AM.)

+(a faith w/o a why-letting the why drop.)

hold on to that feeling...

The following is a writing assignment to think of a specific example when I choose to deny my freedom because of social norms. Honestly I could probably to better at denying my freedom at times- my daughter would certainly agree with this, in regards to my clothing choices, which don't necessarily agree with the social norms of a junior high student. And I could really learn to not talk so much at certain times, but the desire to change those isn't really there.

Desires and Impulses I Freely Choose not to Act On:

One of the times in life that I feel most free is when I am driving, not in backed-up traffic or during rush hour, but more the Sunday driving or not really in a hurry to get somewhere type of driving, or if I am in a hurry I am able to drive there efficiently. I really love to listen to music while I am driving my car, often flipping though the stations to find a song that expresses the feeling that I am having of freedom. For example, Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” comes on the radio. I would find it nearly impossible to not to sing along. So there I am, driving down the road in an experience of my fullest feeling freedom. Then I come to stoplight. There is a car next to me stopped at the light with their windows rolled down. The driver, who I have never seen before, or at least I don’t recognize, glances my way. I suddenly find myself snapped out of my experience and see myself from the other car. I turn down my radio and quit singing. I bottle up my experience and look straight ahead.

When trying to think of something, I choose not to act on, which are many things, most I feel I choose to restrain myself out of a projected consequence. Like maybe I want to go dancing one night, but I feel like it is a possibility that I would run into one of my students and would potentially lose respect, a gained essence I would like to sustain. Thoughts go through my head like my students won’t take me seriously, I would be embarrassed to see them and then uncomfortable in class.  In any case the risk of consequence direct or indirect, outweigh, or overpower my decision or desire.

In any case, even with my choice to quit singing, which was the most irrational I could think of, my decision to quit acting “freely” is because of the presence of another person and my projection on how I might appear to them. And frankly why do I care if some stranger next to me hears me sing and thinks am weird or an awful singer?  But I choose to not want to draw attention to myself. Perhaps I am interrupting their experience they are having driving down the road. Maybe they are listening to NPR, and I and an unwelcome intrusion.