Of course we crave blood,
When we forget we’re alive
His brain is an infinite well organized filing device
I will never hold so much I hold still
and it keeps passing by
You dreamed she would hold you
As wallpaper fills your memory
You see the land and you hold the border
Without question you assume it's yours too keep
You find yourself in a basement
The experience has so far past that you yearn for it now
It won’t come back
You felt the rain that day, inside and out
and have never felt it again
Everything was in its right place
you may or have may not noticed
a provocation of self
is that some kind of joke?
that space between green and yellow
the boredom between blue and green
the land and sea
the earth and sun
next time for sure
…………………..
What was once hell going through
when looking back
looks like heaven?
You're left here son
left here
left here
In the morning
The supermarket
An aisle over
An aisle under
Is gone
The bastard child
The toothless whore
Have gone to bed
A tangled hierarchy
Quantum non locality
On the edge of the most beautiful universe
……………..
One tangled mess:
Dream, little brown bat
Engage yourself to a wealthy man
End up in love
a young philosopher in a movie
Paper bird airplane circling over head lands in my lap
Colored clay in forms squeezed together in chains
Running from authorities.
A Muddy a rich man took me in
wartime, museum.
Helium balloon lift off
Timeline of housing over lifetime to scale model
No hand flip
holding hands in the shower with Steve martin
the spoken voice,vs the written words
there is no comparison
the imagined, always imagined
the now of technology
the was of theology
the inability to truly reconcile ourselves to another
a new way of writing
what will weld the fragments
what could be the whole
same source anew
a related but new
whole
the insurgencies are many
we were in love
he read my writings.
I didn't care
we were in the backseat of my car.
……………….
the moments of shared experiences
moments of personal experience,
self and the world
self and nature.
the evolution of self
involved
the self and others
a valued experience
the ultimate experience
self and nature
a shifting to that of our shared experience
shifting scales of place and time
shifting of self to nature
a shift of the nature of self
the decomposition and insecurity of the natural world becomes realized
we age as well
the condition of the environment declines
the current status is that of loss.
………………..
ambiguity and suspension of time
I see their expressions and can imagine their feelings
the task to ground all anxieties
to current moment and the future
within context of life thus far
the moment of anxiety and the present time
just a moment that will be added to the moments
fragment to fragment
we separate color from colors
and piece them together again
……………………………….
On Drawing:
Drawing as an idea a proposition on how things might be.
Painting a solution a proposition on how things actually are.
Things take on a different complexity when they are meant / or emulate specific things in the natural world. This is also where subjectivity seems to enter, while as when a form maintains an ambiguity but hold true (a synchronic harmony with) the natural world the beginning stages is more objective, the subjectivity has the opportunity then to enter in a new way, when one is able to become aware of their own subjective associations. while certainly some forms would be in this case more prone to certain associations as a whole. opportunity here lies for transforming the objective into the subjective with a certain
degree of self awareness and also is open at the same time to a shared experience.
in or out of the same time,
which really doesn't matter.
imagining experience
I see Ai Weiwei
I see him pouring porcelain sunflower seeds from his hands, I hear them fall, they sound like water falling. splashing to the bottom as they pile up, like grain pulled from the field releasing from the combine.
overflowing. he is still
they are cold to the touch
originally it was an effort to understand everything
but now I have giving up on that.
explorer of everything, inventor
the visual field of information
the moment of where the visual and emotional experience are one in the same.
the aesthetic of marvel
a complete synesthesiastic experience
total sensory integration
none of which is likely plausible.
………..
certain corridors must be explored
he needs to move faster if he's ever going to make it
that's when I realized it was time to go
an internal golden glow
a niche to sit in, forever
green shag carpet
the mountain, trees were symmetrical
I was so fucking naive.
I get angry just thinking about it
call the papers
he'll never return
we went ice skating in that charming little town
I thought I could make it my home
it wasn't meant to be
I lost the baby that same day
gardens of infinity
that city of fountains
never taking me in.
Memories are pillows in France.
A distant discovery in the making
Underground in the summer of 1888.
It was equally exhausting as it was exhilarating.
You'll rest tonight, sharing a pillow.
………………
lord,
I just want to stand here and warm my toes
comfort is freedom
who ever told you otherwise?
but I left my home
it was comfort but not freedom.
or maybe it was freedom?
maybe I was just too cold to notice.
survival- survival and safety
safety to survive
survival freedom
and freedom to survive
it's not what your mother told you
it's not what you dreamed
for all those years
only a trace of similarity
if he paid attention to my intervals of definitive activity
you would see it is very short
I haven't forgotten
and I believe you’ve tried to notice
the current is stable
the viewer tries to hold on
hold on to that stillness that stability
for where there is safety, there is freedom
but I am too cold my toes are cold!
come stand by the fire
promises of a night of warmth
I didn't even notice at the time
Some how you remember
The colors that are colored your memory.
moments of significance
where significant to who?
The road lead somewhere
I remember
it was a well lit path but not well worn that I followed
to a more epic collapse than I could ever empathize or imagine.
to know ones space and time are a mans desires, a mans stability
but to be unsure, to live in a time where time a place have lost their identity within the infinite expanses of the intellect, penetrated at every angle accessible to our sensory devices.
all we can hope is for an emergent order.
one that we hold as true as one we at least once had faith in.
this lord, this mother
thank you mother teresa.
